Does Love Make a Difference?

"Six ways to help others feel that they belong are compliment, notice, listen, appreciate, encourage, and cooperate." --Clyde M. Narramore


What happens when someone grows up without love and affection? I had to write an essay about this, based on the book, This Way to Happiness by Clyde M. Narramore, for school, so I thought, "What's the point of writing an essay that only my mom ends up reading? Why not share it?"


I'll write this a little less formally, because I'm the kind of person who knows the English rules but chooses to break them if I get the chance. :) I may give a few direct quotes, but most of it is just my thoughts based on some of the stuff I read.


Without love and affection, children won't develop and learn at the same rate as other kids their age. Their need for love that isn't being met leaves them with a lack of confidence and motivation. In some cases, this can be so extreme that a six-year-old (or older) orphan in an extremely poorly-run adoption facility may have never developed physically and mentally beyond what would be expected of a baby. But, put the six-year-old "baby" in a loving home where he/she can receive the love everybody longs for, and he/she will begin making progress by leaps and bounds. Love and affection directly affects development.


Although most cases of a lack of love are not as serious, the effects on a child whose life is devoid of love can scar their life and reach into adulthood.


If, for example, a child has overly-critical parents, he will likely grow up with a defeatest attitude, believing that he can't succeed at anything he tries. The result? A passive man who isn't using his talents and skills because he knows he will fail.


Maybe it could be a little girl has never been told that she is beautiful. She will grow up always worried about her appearance, and she'll never think of going out in public without fixing her makeup or grabbing her straightener. Worse she could in all  probability develop an eating disorder. believing the lie that she must starve herself to look acceptable to others.


Consider the all-too-common scenario of someone who starts using alcohol or drugs to try to escape from their life. Why? Perhaps because no one has ever shown them affection or what was shown turned out to be fake. They become an addict, driven to consume more and more alcohol or drugs so they can keep shutting out the pain constantly bombarding them due to a lack of security, a sense of not belonging, or an oppressive feeling of being unimportant, unwanted, and unloved.


Perhaps the lack of love in a teenager's heart will cause him/her to resort to cutting to dull the horrible aching.


There are so many people who turn to something like pornography to try to fill the void within themselves created because they don't feel loved. If they only knew the love of Jesus that is stronger than the lust of the eyes! The love that creates a lasting satisfaction far better than the temporary and empty thrill of sin. Some of them know it, but have forgotten and fallen for a cheap replacement.


The thing is, probably all of us, to one extent or another, have vainly tried to replace any lack of love we experience (because, if we're honest, we don't always feel loved) with something--movies, music, computer, video games, activities, books, work, and many many other things. Probably most of us, at some point, have tried really hard to impress those around us so we can get the affirmation, love, and self-esteem we long for and need. I know I have. I do it a lot. True, we need affirmation, love, and affection to help encourage us and help develop our personalities. But our pathetic methods won't satisfy our desires for very long.


"When love is not within their reach, a human being will turn to some kind of substitute for love--even though it is a counterfeit." --Clyde M. Narramore


So what do we do? We can't change the way other people treat us or the people they come in contact with.
Instead, we have the challenge and responsibility of changing ourselves through Christ's strength.


What would happen if every one of Christ's followers showed Jesus' love to their children, parents, spouse, siblings, classmates, coworkers, friends, neighbors, boss, teachers, fellow believers, the lost dying world? Something radical. Insane. Crazy awesome.

If We Are The Body

It's crowded in worship today
As she slips in trying to fade into the faces
The girl's teasing laughter is carrying farther than they know
Farther than they know

But if we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching?
Why aren't His hands healing?
Why aren't His words teaching?
And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going?
Why is His love not showing them there is a way?
There is a way

A traveler is far away from home
He sheds his coat and quietly sinks into the back row
The weight of their judgmental glances
Tells him that his chances are better out on the road

Jesus payed much too high a price
For us to pick and choose who should come
And we are the body of Christ

If we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching?
Why aren't His hands healing?
Why aren't His words teaching?
And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going?
Why is His love not showing them there is a way?
There is a way 

Jesus is the way

If we are the body, let's get to work. We need to reach out not only to the lovable, but also to the addicts, the prisoners, the homeless, the orphans, the widowed, the sick, the depressed, the suicidal, the unwanted, the outcasts, the bitter, the abused, the shunned, the hopeless, the dying, the unlovable.


Let's do it. Let's love them in Jesus' name. Let's take the love of Jesus that's burning deep in our hearts and ignite a wildfire that will spread Jesus' love to the whole world!


And you can quote me on that. :)



JPK