Does Love Make a Difference?

"Six ways to help others feel that they belong are compliment, notice, listen, appreciate, encourage, and cooperate." --Clyde M. Narramore


What happens when someone grows up without love and affection? I had to write an essay about this, based on the book, This Way to Happiness by Clyde M. Narramore, for school, so I thought, "What's the point of writing an essay that only my mom ends up reading? Why not share it?"


I'll write this a little less formally, because I'm the kind of person who knows the English rules but chooses to break them if I get the chance. :) I may give a few direct quotes, but most of it is just my thoughts based on some of the stuff I read.


Without love and affection, children won't develop and learn at the same rate as other kids their age. Their need for love that isn't being met leaves them with a lack of confidence and motivation. In some cases, this can be so extreme that a six-year-old (or older) orphan in an extremely poorly-run adoption facility may have never developed physically and mentally beyond what would be expected of a baby. But, put the six-year-old "baby" in a loving home where he/she can receive the love everybody longs for, and he/she will begin making progress by leaps and bounds. Love and affection directly affects development.


Although most cases of a lack of love are not as serious, the effects on a child whose life is devoid of love can scar their life and reach into adulthood.


If, for example, a child has overly-critical parents, he will likely grow up with a defeatest attitude, believing that he can't succeed at anything he tries. The result? A passive man who isn't using his talents and skills because he knows he will fail.


Maybe it could be a little girl has never been told that she is beautiful. She will grow up always worried about her appearance, and she'll never think of going out in public without fixing her makeup or grabbing her straightener. Worse she could in all  probability develop an eating disorder. believing the lie that she must starve herself to look acceptable to others.


Consider the all-too-common scenario of someone who starts using alcohol or drugs to try to escape from their life. Why? Perhaps because no one has ever shown them affection or what was shown turned out to be fake. They become an addict, driven to consume more and more alcohol or drugs so they can keep shutting out the pain constantly bombarding them due to a lack of security, a sense of not belonging, or an oppressive feeling of being unimportant, unwanted, and unloved.


Perhaps the lack of love in a teenager's heart will cause him/her to resort to cutting to dull the horrible aching.


There are so many people who turn to something like pornography to try to fill the void within themselves created because they don't feel loved. If they only knew the love of Jesus that is stronger than the lust of the eyes! The love that creates a lasting satisfaction far better than the temporary and empty thrill of sin. Some of them know it, but have forgotten and fallen for a cheap replacement.


The thing is, probably all of us, to one extent or another, have vainly tried to replace any lack of love we experience (because, if we're honest, we don't always feel loved) with something--movies, music, computer, video games, activities, books, work, and many many other things. Probably most of us, at some point, have tried really hard to impress those around us so we can get the affirmation, love, and self-esteem we long for and need. I know I have. I do it a lot. True, we need affirmation, love, and affection to help encourage us and help develop our personalities. But our pathetic methods won't satisfy our desires for very long.


"When love is not within their reach, a human being will turn to some kind of substitute for love--even though it is a counterfeit." --Clyde M. Narramore


So what do we do? We can't change the way other people treat us or the people they come in contact with.
Instead, we have the challenge and responsibility of changing ourselves through Christ's strength.


What would happen if every one of Christ's followers showed Jesus' love to their children, parents, spouse, siblings, classmates, coworkers, friends, neighbors, boss, teachers, fellow believers, the lost dying world? Something radical. Insane. Crazy awesome.

If We Are The Body

It's crowded in worship today
As she slips in trying to fade into the faces
The girl's teasing laughter is carrying farther than they know
Farther than they know

But if we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching?
Why aren't His hands healing?
Why aren't His words teaching?
And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going?
Why is His love not showing them there is a way?
There is a way

A traveler is far away from home
He sheds his coat and quietly sinks into the back row
The weight of their judgmental glances
Tells him that his chances are better out on the road

Jesus payed much too high a price
For us to pick and choose who should come
And we are the body of Christ

If we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching?
Why aren't His hands healing?
Why aren't His words teaching?
And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going?
Why is His love not showing them there is a way?
There is a way 

Jesus is the way

If we are the body, let's get to work. We need to reach out not only to the lovable, but also to the addicts, the prisoners, the homeless, the orphans, the widowed, the sick, the depressed, the suicidal, the unwanted, the outcasts, the bitter, the abused, the shunned, the hopeless, the dying, the unlovable.


Let's do it. Let's love them in Jesus' name. Let's take the love of Jesus that's burning deep in our hearts and ignite a wildfire that will spread Jesus' love to the whole world!


And you can quote me on that. :)



JPK

Physic Fun & Salvation

A week ago I completed my entire physics course. Ahhh... it feels good to be free of that; talk about the advantages of homeschool! I didn't want to ever think about physics again if possible! And then... surprise! My Mom asks me if I can check all of the tests that she hadn't yet attempted to check--only about 10 of them backlogged from January! I'm honored, thrilled, excited... not. But I knew that it was just because she didn't have the confidence that she could score them fairly when she didn't understand the concepts herself. So I decided to tackle it Wednesday. Except it was kind-of late when I started, and it sort-of took a rather long time, so it was, like, 1:10 a.m. Thursday morning (yawn) when I finally finished. As I checked it, of course I found plenty of wrong answers. Some of them seemed only kind-of wrong-ish, but I'm a perfectionist so I was pretty tough on myself. :) Then I had to write a fraction thingy with points earned over the total possible points on each test so my Mom could calculate the score--I left that job for her cuz I didn't have a calculator handy. Some of the test scores weren't very impressive--but give me a break, physics is tough! Some were pretty good, and I'm like, "Yay me!" Two of them, amazingly, were perfect scores--100%. I have no idea how I did that, but I was pretty happy. And the two A+s will help even out the total physics grade so the not-so-good scores won't matter as much. So what's my point? Well, I do actually have one. :)

But, I won't get to it yet. Because I have another illustration (well, actually, this one is borrowed from my dad :-) And I like illustrations. Think for a moment about bowling. I love bowling! In fact, I'm going to have a bowling party with my Sunday School class this Saturday, and I'm excited! But, to be honest, I'm really not that good. At all. I've never been able to get a score much past 100. But I know some worse bowlers... so, I don't feel that bad. I mean, I could really cream them. Leave those gutterball kings and queens in the dust. On the other hand, I know some really good bowlers. I once watched a guy from my church get strikes for about 4 or 5 turns in a row! Impressive. Me, I just randomly do really good and get a strike or spare, and then, next thing you know, I'm cranking out gutterballs. You win some, you lose some.

Here's my point. Grading physics or going bowling is a little bit like life. You do some pretty stupid things. Make some "mistakes." Hmm... I guess that makes you a "mistaker."1 Maybe you'll be honest and call them sins. Meaning you're a sinner. But, you also do some good things! Maybe really good.

The problem is a lot of people believe that the good they do will make up for the bad. They compare themselves with Hitler or Joseph Kony and say, "Hey, I'm not that bad after all. Surely my good evens out the bad a little, and I end up pretty high on the 'scale of goodness.'2 I mean, Mother Teresa and Billy Graham may be closer to the top, but at least I'm not too far away from them."

How foolish we are! It doesn't make me a genius just because I might have gotten better scores in physics than the next guy. Neither of us are anywhere close to being Albert Einstein (who could have aced a course much harder than mine). I'll never be a pro bowler just because I get a better score than my sister, and I'm not too much worse than the guy with a bunch of strikes. None of the three of us are Parker Bohn III (who has bowled 85 perfect games).3

You see, Mother Teresa isn't our standard of comparison. No way. People aren't looking high enough. Our standard is Jesus' righteousness. And where is He on the "scale of goodness"? He isn't. He's off the scale, through the roof, outside Earth's atmosphere, beyond the Milky Way, clear out of our universe that is supposed to be infinite. And then even past that. His righteousness exceeds our imagination. And when we're compared with Him, we all might as well be down there with Hitler; there's really no difference anymore. We all fall short of the 4.0 grade point, the perfect score, the glory of God. Far short. God's righteousness, holiness, and glory is too unattainable. We can never make it. Ever.

God doesn't mix up our "scores," find the average, and compare us with another fallible human. He looks at His perfect Son and pronounces the verdict. Guilty. That's justice. God is holy and just and can't do otherwise. Or He would be a liar. None of us could ever do enough good to make a bit of difference. It doesn't matter how many or few sins we've committed, we're all condemned, death-row inmates. The self-centered baby, the rebellious teen, the faithful church-goer, the grizzly murderer--all just as guilty. The punishment? Eternal death in Hell.

But, thankfully, the story doesn't end there. You see, God the Father sent His only Son, Jesus Christ, to pay the penalty for our sins--the punishment that we deserve. He alone could be the ultimate sacrifice because He was completely and totally sinless. So He died on the cross and took our place, suffering so we don't have to, providing a way for us to be saved for all eternity. When you agree with God that you are a sinner, confess your sins, believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and ask Jesus to come into your heart and be your personal Lord and Savior, He will give you the free gift of salvation. No strings attached.

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9)

"Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved..." (Acts 16:31)

And then... then Jesus changes the score! He washes your filthy life in His own blood and clothes you with His ultimate righteousness. And when God looks at you, He pronounces the verdict. Not guilty. Why? Because He sees nothing but... His Son.

Praise God!!!

The gift is free, the choice is yours.

p.s. And that is what I got from checking my physics :)

JPK

1 concept from "Twisting the Truth"

2 concept from The Alpha Course

3 info from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perfect_game_(bowling)

Sold Out Love

I Will Love You by Robert Pierre


When I think of all You are,
In my life and in my heart,
No words can say what I feel.

Cause if anything is true,
It's what I have found in You,
Lord, to me, there's nothing so real.

And though there is no way I can repay You,
I'll give You whatever You want.

I'll live a life that says You give me every song,
With my every breath I'll make Your mercy known,
With every soul on earth or all alone; I will love You, I will love You.

Angels see You face to face,
If I could I'd take their place,
And pour out my heart to You.
But what they don't understand,
Is to know Your grace first hand,
How it feels to love like I do.

You bring me to my knees with Your kindness,
Lord, there's nothing I can hold back.

I'll live a life that says You give me every song,
With my every breath I'll make Your mercy known,
With every soul on earth or all alone; I will love You, I will love You.

With everything I am,
And everything I have,
I dedicate myself,
To doing one thing well.

I will love You.
With my every breath I'll make Your mercy known,
With every soul on earth or all alone; I will love You, I will love You.

I'll live a life that says You give me every song,
With my every breath I'll make Your mercy known,
With every soul on earth or all alone; I will love You, I will love You.
I will love You.
I will love You. 




This song is absolutely amazing! I want to be like this--completely sold out to God. But am I?


I'll be honest. There are plenty of times I do something I want to do when I should be spending time with God. Like listening to music or doing something on the computer or getting a snack. Sometimes I'm praying and then I find that I've drifted from talking to God to talking to myself. That happens a lot actually. So instead I listen to music while I'm falling asleep rather than talk to the One Who should be my Best Friend, the One Who deserves all my love.


I find myself caring more about what other people think of me than what my Savior and Creator thinks of me. And that's dangerous.


And I know I'm guilty of holding stuff back from God. Like the song says, we can't possibly repay God for all He's done. But there are things we can do through His strength to please Him and bring glory to Him. Like witnessing.


And I'll admit it. I have such trouble talking to people about Christ. Even just giving God the credit for some talent. I'll think, "Oh, that person is probably not a Christian and won't understand." But that's kind-of the point. Other believers aren't the ones who need to hear me acknowledge God as the One Who gives me my abilities. I can just tell myself that I'm not talkative around people I don't know well (which is true--"I do not have the talent of conversing easily with people I have never met before."-Mr. Darcy :). But does that give me an excuse?


Winning souls brings God more joy than anything else we can do for Him. If we truly and unreservedly love Him, how can we do anything less? How can you? How can I? How dare we keep the message of the only way to escape from the impending doom that awaits the lost all locked up inside ourselves because we'd rather not stick our necks out too far? Just imagine your unsaved family, friends, and even acquaintances being tormented in Hell for all eternity, realize that you have the responsibility to tell them about Christ--the One and only Way to Heaven, and go fulfill the Great Commission. It's time to stop being passive Christians!


Let's wake up and do what God has called us to do. Or... maybe we just don't really love Jesus enough to live our lives fully dedicated to Him. The choice of whether or not you decide to change is yours alone to make.


"The greatest contribution of all--the only one that will stand through eternity--is to have a part in bringing an immortal soul into the kingdom of God."-Clyde M. Narramore


Jesus, "with everything I am, And everything I have, I dedicate myself to doing one thing well. I will love You."


JPK

Greater is He

"Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world." 1 John 4:4


This verse speaks to me about fear. You know as well as me that we all have it. It doesn't matter what we're afraid of (because it's different for everyone), just that we all experience fear.


I didn't truly realize until recently how much control fear has over me. I was reading a book called Spirit-Controlled Temperament by Tim LaHaye for school. I figured out pretty quickly that I'm, like, 99% melancholic. That was the easy part. Then the author starts talking about the strengths and weaknesses of the different temperaments. It was really easy to see myself as he described all of the negative tendencies of the melancholic temperament. Including pessimism. Surprise!


So, anyway, before long, we're delving into fear and its consequences (such as quenching the Holy Spirit). Then he goes too far. He claims that melancholics are extremely fear-prone. I'm like, "C'mon dude. Fear? What r u talking about? I'm not afraid."


Of course, Tim can't answer me because he's stuck inside the book, forced to tell me nothing but what the book says. Naturally, though, as I continue reading, Tim proceeds to squelch my belief that I don't struggle with fear. He gives an extensive list of various evidences of fear in a person's life. Stuff like depression (not necessarily the sickness), worry, inferiority, indecision, haughtiness, loneliness, withdrawal, social shyness, and suspicion. Ok... So, this stuff has me written all over it.


If I'm honest I'm fearful of a lot of things. I'm afraid of the future, afraid of failing, afraid of not being accepted, afraid of doing something stupid, afraid of going outside of God's will and losing His approval, sometimes even afraid of myself.


The key to this thing called fear is this: God is greater. It's true. He's so much greater than any problem or worry we face, and He is well able to handle all of the nasty stuff you're facing in life.


This song by Robert Pierre beautifully sums up how we have no need to fear when God is on our side.


Greater Is He
I see it in the searching eyes
Of everyone passing by
We're so afraid of what will come
And what will happen when it all comes undone
But I know
I'm not alone

Greater is He who is in me
Greater is He who came to save
Greater is He who is in me
So I will not fear

I hear the sound of anxious hearts
Surrounded by a world falling apart
Still I will not be afraid
My God will stand when everything fades
Cause I know
I'm not alone

Greater is He who is in me
Greater is He who came to save
Greater is He who is in me
So I will not fear

Nothing I face
Is greater than than who conquered the grave
Nothing I face
Is greater than He
Greater than He



I'm not alone. And neither are you. No matter what we come up against, our God is greater.


JPK

Trust

Ok, so here I am. One little person out of 7 billion.


So, what can I do here in this world?


Why do I have this longing to make a difference when it doesn't seem like I will ever be able to accomplish anything worthwhile?


And why does it cost so much to follow your dreams anyway? It's ridiculous. I know my Father owns the cattle on a thousand hills, but, as someone has said, "It sure doesn't seem like he's sending those cattle my way."


Probably my favorite verse, Philippians 4:13, states, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." I believe this and claim it all the time, but it's not easy to trust that my future is in God's control. I'm like, "Yea, God has a plan and all, but nothing will ever happen unless I act. If I don't do something now, my life is going to go by before I've done anything that will truly matter and count for eternity."


Funny thing is, I might be able to get more of the things done that I need to do right now if I didn't spend so much time worrying that I'm going to vegetate once I graduate! Needless to say, I don't have it all figured out right now, despite the pressure that I keep getting from everyone to make those huge decisions about my future.


Why do adults always ask you what you're going to do when you grow up anyway? It gets annoying. How should I know? I've heard it said, "It's because they're looking for ideas." Ok, that's funny. Maybe it's true.


So, I guess all these random thoughts boil down to one thing. Trust. Do I really trust God? I mean, like, enough to be content if he wants me to stay at home rather than go to college? That's a hard question.


I've been reading in the Old Testament about the children of Israel and their days wandering in in the wilderness. Talk about being stuck in an undesirable rut! They got themselves into that predicament when they stopped trusting God. He does all this crazy-awesome stuff for them, and then they decide He isn't big enough to give them what He'd promised. Ridiculous? Absolutely. After all He'd done, you'd think they might have learned a thing or two, but they keep doing what they think is best. Pretty soon, they're dashing headlong into some other disaster because they couldn't wait and trust God.


Maybe I could learn something from their mistakes. I don't want to dash headlong into something God's not a part of and make a big mess. I'm not saying I'll ruin my life by not choosing the right career or college or job. But I could create a bunch of unnecessary problems by creating a huge college debt or compromising to get money or flunking college because I haven't formed good habits (not like that could ever happen, right?).


So, for now, I need to explore my options, talk to my parents, then lean on, trust in, and rely on God. Simple? Not really. But worth it.


JPK